As I sat quietly, spring 2020 with the pandemic of Covid-19, it dawned on me that a Bigger pandemic had been at play for some time – the bashing of the male, let’s call it a Mandemic.
I was called to be a lawyer to help others, which followed my study of human nature in psychology and a life, long intrigue in what makes people ‘tick’.
Being in the masculine energy of “success” to be a lawyer and successfully practice, over a twenty-year period, I had observed those I worked and socialised with, in the typically “man’s world” of law and business.
Observing the terrible effect that life changing events – redundancy (in my work), loss of young parents, children and marriages (in my personal life) I began to see more clearly and closely the struggle to grieve and come to terms with the “rug being pulled from under” a person. Increasingly I empathised with individuals – typically men – who seemed to never allow themselves to develop self-love / nurturing skills. I began a journey of passion to inspire resilience and help them (clients, friends, husbands of friends) find the tools to cope with devastating events in their lives.
Men working in a man’s world, who have found professional success, often haven’t been able to share their feelings, emotions, and so deal with (and deny) these alone.
I felt that I was able to meet them where they ‘were’, as I understood fully the environment and position they were in, having lived it myself, and so I became uniquely placed to help and be a trusted advisor.
I dearly hope that the world can CATCH these people and show them that when they fall, they can be held and nurtured, to protect and sustain themselves while they re-find their balance, find a catalyst for change, help them to see that what can be the worst thing that ever happened can become the best opportunity. The Samaritans report that the highest suicide rate in the UK is males aged between 45 to 49 years. There are lots out there suffering alone.
One or some or thirty two of these good habits I passionately believe can make a difference to set a struggling person on their new path to finding new solutions and new pathways that will work for them. It is a taster to tempt a person to take their first step of a journey of a thousand miles (or more) which may be the find the energy, hope and enthusiasm experiences in their youth.
Many clients, I am sure, will attest that I regularly refer to my belief that masculinity and femininity are two sides of a perfect coin, it is my belief that working together with a joint beneficial focus is the best way. I am not a fan of division; finger pointing or point scoring by ‘either’ sex. I have been fortunate to have some fantastic male role models and mentors; my perfect blend is a new hybrid combination of traditional stoicism with a dash of self-care and a sprinkling of emotional openness. As a mother, I hope that my children, their peers, my unborn grandchildren can learn to find a way to both applaud and nurture masculinity. My role as a daughter I see now that I was very fortunate to grow up in family where support and praise was given for all achievements, listening was valued, kindness and pulling together was a simple, but mandatory family (and extended family) mantra – come what may. #Gratitude
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